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IBC Women’s Ministry Blog – January 14, 2021

IBC Women’s Ministry Blog – January 14, 2021

Adoption Thoughts, Week 2

By Jodie Montgomery with Guest Blogger Marcella Townsend


I’m looking forward to sharing Marcella’s story with you. So hope you are enjoying our adoption thoughts. Marcella wrote the following in response to my question “How did you go about finding your birth mother?”


From Marcella:

I began my search for my birth mother with a DNA test.  The results turned up many distant cousins, but no one close enough to help identify my target.  I enlisted the help of a researcher named Mark who quickly determined my best course of action was to request my pre-adoption birth certificate from New York.  I submitted that application just a few weeks before the COVID-19 pandemic forced the NY Department of Health to close, and waited 6 months to receive an answer.  It was just before my birthday when I learned the name of my birth mother, which was the same name given to me on the document.  Within a few hours Mark was able to find her current name, address and phone number and provide me with the links I needed to make contact.  Suddenly there was a  living 73-year-old woman with an actual phone number for me to call, not just an imagined college student, career woman, wife.  My thoughts turned to how she might react to my call.  It sounds funny to say, but I had not anticipated what comes next.  Do we start a relationship?  Will she be receptive to me? I had to be prepared for anything.  If this was the only time we would speak I was going to take the opportunity to thank her for giving me life.   

I played several scenarios in my head, but never anticipated what actually happened.  The call went to voicemail and John, not Maria, asked me to leave a message for John or Maria.  I managed to leave a brief, detail-free message and was rewarded with a return call from Maria, my birth mother.  My heart raced as I chose my words carefully, wanting to give her room to deny me if she was not comfortable.  I told her I was given up for adoption, and wondered if she knew about my story.  She said she wondered when I would find her, and that she had been praying for me every day since my birth.  I could hear relief, joy, and also pain in her voice.  She told me she could not have brought me into her home and that giving me up was the best thing she could do for me.  We both choked back tears as I told her she did a very good thing and thanked her for such a selfless act.”


1 John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers and sisters.