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IBC Women’s Ministry Blog – January 21, 2021

IBC Women’s Ministry Blog – January 21, 2021

Adoption Thoughts, Week 3

By Jodie Montgomery with Guest Blogger Marcella Townsend


Continuing Marcella’s story with “And what was it like to connect with family that are also strangers?”

Marcella writes, 

“As soon as we started talking on the phone, my birth mother Maria and I had an easy rapport.  I learned that she still lives close to where I was born and that I went to college just minutes from her home.  She married soon after college and told her husband about me early in their relationship.  We talked about family medical history and about her other children and my children.  I learned that I have three half-brothers. Most importantly, I learned that Maria wanted me in her life.  What a birthday present!   I had so much I wanted to tell her to catch her up on the last 50 years.  She had an even harder task in telling her three sons about me.  

At this point I need to give credit to the internet.  From each side we were searching each other’s name and gleaning anything we could from our online profiles. Greg made the first move, sending me a short note “Hi Marcella 🙂 My name is Greg. I think you’re my sister.” And my reply “Hi Greg.  I think you are correct.  Would you like to talk sometime?”  I found out that Greg lived not far from me, so he was the first family member I was able to meet in person.  We hit it off immediately, and talked easily on a wide range of topics.  He presented me with a list of questions of my favorites and firsts to help us quickly learn about each other.  Christopher, the eldest, was the next brother I met. During our first phone conversation I had an urge to provide some guidance to him on a personal matter.  He graciously accepted the unsolicited advice from his new big sister, and I remember realizing when that call ended that I was forming new permanent bonds with family who accepted me without hesitation.  Damian, my middle brother, reached out online and we soon discovered shared interests in genealogy, gardening and list making.  With each one I was fascinated to learn what attributes we shared and how we were alike or different.  I was amazed to learn that my three half-brothers and I — all four of us — play drums.  

Maria and I decided to meet at her home about one month after I found her.  When I walked out of the airport, I spotted her instantly, and she knew me.  Whatever nervousness I had on the flight was gone, and without hesitation we embraced.  It was natural, unforced and a relief to both of us.  That evening I shared photos with her from my infancy to adulthood. I wanted to show her that I had a good life with many happy memories and a family who loved me.  It was important to me that she realize she had given me the blessing of my life and my connections to all the people who called me family.  She explained her reasons for giving me up and that she feared I would reject her for doing so.  I told her I never felt rejected by her and wanted her to forgive herself and let go of any bad feeling.  I’m thankful for her courage to let me go, and for her kindness to let me back into her life.”


Job 42:11 “Then all his brothers, all his sistersand all who had known him before came to him, and they ate bread with him in his house; and they sympathized with him and comforted him for all the adversities that the Lord had brought on him.”


Families were designed to provide us all with a sense of His refuge. As we start a New Year, may we affirm our family members and start off the year thankful for His unifying grace.